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From Yesterday
posted 09.01.2009 Friday
Filipinos who live and work overseas are bound to get slighted (whether from the locals of the place they live in or other fellow Filipinos). As a migrant of two years to this country, I have long been tossing up the idea of getting citizenship or just renewing permanent residency. Perhaps growing up in the 80s in a staunchly politically aware family; the values are imbedded in my system that I now find I cannot give up my Filipino citizenship just like *snap* that. The only truly compelling reason for me is to get a blue passport, so I can travel unencumbered by months of planning, visa applications etc. Of course, I also try and see if this place is really a place I see myself growing old in, settling, living out my last days and if gaining citizenship is worth losing my current one.
Of course, to others, I probably sound like I'm making too much of it. A lot of people are dual citizens, it really is no big of a deal. But this, to me, is deeply personal because of the way I was raised and the time I grew up in. And also because I have had many thrilling moments of studying Constitutional Law (I can hear the groans now LOL) and seeing the pockets of possibility and Hope in some decisions. LOL Of course, this all comes from a romanticized POV and from someone who hasn't lived in the motherland for a while and who scarcely knows the issues.
But, back to the beginning. I know this is probably all disjointed and the writing leaves much to be desired in terms of coherence, but forgive me, am writing on the fly.
And now I am exhausted LOL just thinking about it.
But, here, in an excerpt from letter to friends, is something that happened to me yesterday which made me think about all this and whether I can justify giving up current citizenship to be like them. (Of course, I realise that not everyone here is like this, but I am hard pressed to find them :) Maybe they all live in the cities. LOL)
**snip**
I got offered a new job yesterday, at the TAFE here, which is a tech college. It's an assistant position, part time (which was my one condition because I still need to do Daz's paperwork). So I'm assistant to the head of the college, and will be assisting HR and Accounts when needed. I'm pretty excited because while it doesn't sound like a dream job (I've given up finding one of those here LOL), it's something different that requires me a little noggin work. It was all great until one thing. There's this woman there, her name is C. She's a friend of Darren's parents. I've met her only once or twice, but around here that's enough to consider us friends. Apparently, she has been batting for me, urging the head of the college to hire me.
I applied last year, but one of the requirements was permanent residency (as it's a government job) and I wasn't then, so they hired someone else.
Anyway, that someone else went on maternity leave (maternity leave here is like a year) so they needed someone to fill in. And now that I'm a permanent resident, they called me.
Anyway, as I was leaving TAFE, C congratulated me on getting offered the job and I said thanks, and then she said "You deserve it", which sort of struck me as a weird thing to say. But she kept saying it, you deserve it, you deserve it. And this woman does not know me from Adam, so I had to ask her what she meant. She said that she had heard that I used to study really hard in the Philippines and that this was such a good step for me to take yada yada yada. In my head naman I was thinking (you mean law school? But I didn't go to law school so I could work as an admin assistant at the TAFE) I just thought her answer was a bit weird so I just smiled and said thanks and went home.(My momma raised me all polite like y'see LOL)
Call me slow on the uptake, but all that sort of stewed on the back burner the rest of the day.
And then while I was talking to Daz, I sort of realised that she must have thought that when people said (at the time Darren and I were dating) that I was studying, she probably thought that I was studying very hard so that when I get to Australia, I'll have a good life. That good old poor Filipino stereotype.
Biglang natawa/irita lang ako. Irita because I hate being pegged in a category, no matter what it is. And natawa kasi, how myopic and funny is that? And I said to Daz last night how hard I found it to have to break all the stereotypes. Kasi naman before I came here, all the other Filipinas have been the (and I'm not saying this in a mean way, just fact) marry-a-white-guy-to-leave-the-Philippines type. No higher education and with bad communication skills. It's better now; there are a few new Filipinos here that are vaguely interesting (you still get the first sort, though, only much younger this time). So now when they meet me, they get thrown. Sure, it was cute the first few "your english is tremendous!"(my thought balloon: if only i can say the same about your grammar!) or "how great is your english, you can make jokes and everything!"(my thought balloon: how insulting is that?!) and the "are you american?" questions I got, but it got old really fast.
Anyway,wala lang. I just sort of needed to vent that. I'm far from being balat sibuyas and I'm too self aware to be insecure so it takes a while for me to realise that things like that are happening to me. LOL but holy crap I just get tired of the stereotype.
**snip**
Of course, to others, I probably sound like I'm making too much of it. A lot of people are dual citizens, it really is no big of a deal. But this, to me, is deeply personal because of the way I was raised and the time I grew up in. And also because I have had many thrilling moments of studying Constitutional Law (I can hear the groans now LOL) and seeing the pockets of possibility and Hope in some decisions. LOL Of course, this all comes from a romanticized POV and from someone who hasn't lived in the motherland for a while and who scarcely knows the issues.
But, back to the beginning. I know this is probably all disjointed and the writing leaves much to be desired in terms of coherence, but forgive me, am writing on the fly.
And now I am exhausted LOL just thinking about it.
But, here, in an excerpt from letter to friends, is something that happened to me yesterday which made me think about all this and whether I can justify giving up current citizenship to be like them. (Of course, I realise that not everyone here is like this, but I am hard pressed to find them :) Maybe they all live in the cities. LOL)
**snip**
I got offered a new job yesterday, at the TAFE here, which is a tech college. It's an assistant position, part time (which was my one condition because I still need to do Daz's paperwork). So I'm assistant to the head of the college, and will be assisting HR and Accounts when needed. I'm pretty excited because while it doesn't sound like a dream job (I've given up finding one of those here LOL), it's something different that requires me a little noggin work. It was all great until one thing. There's this woman there, her name is C. She's a friend of Darren's parents. I've met her only once or twice, but around here that's enough to consider us friends. Apparently, she has been batting for me, urging the head of the college to hire me.
I applied last year, but one of the requirements was permanent residency (as it's a government job) and I wasn't then, so they hired someone else.
Anyway, that someone else went on maternity leave (maternity leave here is like a year) so they needed someone to fill in. And now that I'm a permanent resident, they called me.
Anyway, as I was leaving TAFE, C congratulated me on getting offered the job and I said thanks, and then she said "You deserve it", which sort of struck me as a weird thing to say. But she kept saying it, you deserve it, you deserve it. And this woman does not know me from Adam, so I had to ask her what she meant. She said that she had heard that I used to study really hard in the Philippines and that this was such a good step for me to take yada yada yada. In my head naman I was thinking (you mean law school? But I didn't go to law school so I could work as an admin assistant at the TAFE) I just thought her answer was a bit weird so I just smiled and said thanks and went home.(My momma raised me all polite like y'see LOL)
Call me slow on the uptake, but all that sort of stewed on the back burner the rest of the day.
And then while I was talking to Daz, I sort of realised that she must have thought that when people said (at the time Darren and I were dating) that I was studying, she probably thought that I was studying very hard so that when I get to Australia, I'll have a good life. That good old poor Filipino stereotype.
Biglang natawa/irita lang ako. Irita because I hate being pegged in a category, no matter what it is. And natawa kasi, how myopic and funny is that? And I said to Daz last night how hard I found it to have to break all the stereotypes. Kasi naman before I came here, all the other Filipinas have been the (and I'm not saying this in a mean way, just fact) marry-a-white-guy-to-leave-the-Philippines type. No higher education and with bad communication skills. It's better now; there are a few new Filipinos here that are vaguely interesting (you still get the first sort, though, only much younger this time). So now when they meet me, they get thrown. Sure, it was cute the first few "your english is tremendous!"(my thought balloon: if only i can say the same about your grammar!) or "how great is your english, you can make jokes and everything!"(my thought balloon: how insulting is that?!) and the "are you american?" questions I got, but it got old really fast.
Anyway,wala lang. I just sort of needed to vent that. I'm far from being balat sibuyas and I'm too self aware to be insecure so it takes a while for me to realise that things like that are happening to me. LOL but holy crap I just get tired of the stereotype.
**snip**
Soo... whatchootink? (4)