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I'll be babaw
for a moment and mourn the demise of my 2-bag fund this month. Was just about ready to purchase when beagle boy got sick and, well, his vet bills cost me one bag, and now that the symptoms have recurred, am getting ready to give up the funds for the 2nd bag :(
That being said, would do it again in a heartbeat. I just want the boy back to normal. :(
Additional babaw note: I decided to get na lang my diaper bags (which incidentally are 10% of the price of the bag I wanted) and hold off for a little while on the bigger purchases :D
Year That Was: 2009
1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? Buried a parent, conceived a child.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I’ve never believed in New Year’s Resolutions, but I might make a list of goals for 2010.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? I don’t think so.
4. Did anyone close to you die? My dad.
5. What countries did you visit? The Philippines.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? holidays.
7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? July 10, 2009. Dad passed away following a cardio-pulmonary arrest at the ICU in Medical City. We were all there till he flatlined.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Keeping sane.
9. What was your biggest failure? Keeping my temper.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Sliced my heel while closing the gate at our new house.
11. What was the best thing you bought? I would have to say Hercules Beagle Boy. He has brought so much joy.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? So soo many. My dad, for fighting the good fight and leaving on his own terms. My mom, for being as brave as she could have been in the face of death. My siblings –I couldn’t have done any of the things I did if I knew they weren’t depending on me. My friends – who rallied when I couldn’t. My husband – for always putting me first and who tried to hold the fort together while I was away.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? The in-laws.
14. Where did most of your money go? House purchase towards end of the year.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The thought of going home Dec 09 (which fell through), the baby.
16. What song will always remind you of 2009? Probably 'Hometown Glory' by Adele.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
(a) sadder
(b) fatter (I am 20 weeks pregnant LOL)
(c) poorer!
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Taken time off.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Been nice to people I will now always dislike
20. How did you spend Christmas? Didn’t have the Christmas that I wanted at all what with all the drama from the inlaws.
21. Did you fall in love in 2009? I am always in love with D :).
22. What was your favorite TV program? We marathoned House, Supernatural.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Unfortunately, yes. I try not to hate because it’s such a useless emotion, but with these people, it’s unavoidable.
24. What was the best book you read? Reread Love in the Time of Cholera (it was like reading a new book!)
25. What was your greatest musical discovery? No idea.
26. What did you want and get? More work.
27. What did you want and not get? Holidays, for my dad to get better, a great christmas.
28. What was your favorite film of this year? Didn't watch a lot.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 33, and we were driving back from shopping in Perth
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If I had been able to go back home for the holidays.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Work clothes. LOL We barely had time to go out.
32. What kept you sane? Work. My husband. The pets.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? .
34. What political issue stirred you the most? I’ve given up on politics lol.
35. Who did you miss? Dad. My family. My girls.
36. Who was the best new person you met? Toni.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. An oldie, but goodie:
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together.
All I know, all I know: Love will save the day.
On Finding Out
We were pregnant, and I had to cancel my trip home due to low resistance to rubella and that I should stay away from kids and babies:
My sister: 'You have to think about the baby now; you can always come home next year.'
My sister in law's reaction: 'Well we might as well not go over for christmas if she's not going to spend time with my kids!'
hmm. lol
In Truth
I have never felt that I have lived in a third world country.
Until now. In this place.
Thank You
One of the best childhood memories I have of my dad is of us going to rallies in the 80s, wearing yellow and decorating our car (a beige Lancer then) with yellow ribbons.
My parents were pretty vocal about their political views and I remember sometimes skipping class so I could go with my mom to rallies protesting the dictatorship. It was a heady time. I was only around 9 when the snap elections, and then the first Edsa Revolution happened. I was only 9 but I knew the issues. I absorbed information like a sponge. I spent my free time listening for updates on the radio or reading about stuff in the paper and magazines.
I was so inspired by her. And because of that experience, I wanted to work for government. Do whatever she was doing. Be inspiring. Be honest, sincere, eloquent.
So it was with some sadness that I watched the news today, looked at old clips of the Edsa Revolution and remembered quite vividly how I had felt when I was a kid and wanted to do some good for this nation.
And along with countless other Filipinos, I say, Thank You, Cory. For your unparalleled courage and grace under what could only be the most extraordinary circumstances. For making me proud and for making me believe in the Filipino.
Dream 1
The last few nights I've been having dreams --or nightmares, really-- about what else I could have done or what I could have done differently with my dad since I flew home to "get him better". The last few nights I would wake up very distressed. Last night, right in the middle of a dream where I was agonizing about what to do, my dad appeared for two seconds, tousled my hair, and left. I snapped out of the dream while still in the dream and started calling out "dad? Dad!" but he was gone. I woke up crying.
My mom said that it was probably his way of telling me to stop worrying about what I could have done differently and while that gives me comfort, I still wonder.
Dad
In the last 5 days, I met a lot of people for the first time. These people came from all walks of life, with only one thing in common: they all knew my dad and loved him.
It humbled me to listen to all their stories and I realised that I thought I knew everything about daddy, but in meeting these people and hearing them talk about him, there were so many sides to him that I did not know.
And so I know that even when he's no longer here, he is still here. He shows himself to me and guides me through each person I meet who has loved him, and those who he loved. He will always be here.